Today is the 37th birthday of total genius hunk Ryan Hughes.
You might only recognize him from this deleted scene from FUBAR 2 … or a morbidly funny play you once saw … or some sex dreams you’ve had recently. That’s fine. Not everyone can know someone this amazing in real life. But some of us lucky ones do know him when he is offscreen and offstage, and we want to celebrate him.
So in honour of his birthday, here are some genuine words about genuine Ryan from genuine babes.
Eden: “Hottest dance coach EVER. Everything else I could say about Ryan would make the internet explode into flames and then everyone would be SO MAD AT ME. Oh also I’m in court right now. He should definitely be made aware of that. ”
Anna: “Ryan Hughes is a man who loves musicals, and cupcakes and Kate Bush. That’s right, a total catch! His karaoke stylings are downright intimidating. I have never heard a better version of Mr. Cellophane. Ryan’s attitudes, politics and feminist leanings and the sexiest! Also, my heart kinda skipped a beat when I discovered he knew all about Naturopathy. What a dreamboat.”
Gaia: “I’ve always thought Ryan is one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met – a perfect and endlessly appealing combination of tall, dark, talented, and brainy.
But more than that, Ryan is one of the kindest men I’ve ever known. He has offered me so much support through dark and difficult periods of my life. He’s made me laugh when I hadn’t cracked a smile for days. He’s offered me important insight, sharing his own experience and calling me out on my own bullshit in the most tender, caring way. He’s one of the reasons I know in my gut I’m loveable, even at my worst.
There aren’t many people on the planet with Ryan’s generosity of spirit and nobility of heart. I feel lucky to know him and smart to love him and very very happy he was born.
(And in this picture, that’s his tie I’m wearing – and it makes me feel ultra sexy.)”
Cat: “Ryan Hughes is a sexy fifties dad combined with a sexy ice cream man. To quote the esteemed Salt N Pepa, “Can I get a scoop? Baby take a ride in my coupe*”
He’s also smart and nice and funny and stuff.
*I do not have a coupe”
Jennie: “A date with Ryan can involve knitting. Or cats. Or bowling with your roommate and your other boyfriend who has just come up from Boston, and everything is cool. Or seeing a play that reaches down into your heart and pulls your feelings up from your guts, and knowing that you’re not the only one crying. It can involve fireworks on a windy rooftop, or cupcakes (sometimes both at the same time!) or a long ramble around the city discovering weird street art and dissing the pigeons. It can involve curry and cake decorating and dissing playwrights. It can involve doing the Charleston.
Being Ryan’s friend is knowing that one really smart, caring, razor-witted has your back every single day, and being unendingly grateful that you’ve hoodwinked him into thinking you’re worth it.”
Emilie: “Ryan Hughes: Raconteur, Actor, Birthday Boy. He’ll seduce you with homemade fudge and Hedwig and the Angry Inch on VHS and it will be a magical time you’ll treasure forever.”
Morgan: “Every time I have to say goodbye to Ryan, I cry. Maybe it’s because we live so far apart that we see each other far too rarely. Or Maybe it’s because he’s kind, and fun, and makes me feel like the most interesting person in the world.
I’ve loved Ryan since the first moment I saw him on stage in a dress and men’s loafers. And in the time I’ve gotten to know him, he’s only become more fascinating. I think part of the reason is that he has impeccable taste. In his art, in his clothes and in the people he cares about.
He is the finest cuddler and a delightful conversationalist. He believes in honesty, but also in tact. He’s considerate and selfless. He loves learning new things, and sharing the things he’s learned to do.
I love his fudge. I love his veggie butter chicken. I loved listening to him strum his guitar and watch him build his paper cameras.
I love buying him gifts, because he’s always so appreciative. I love getting gifts from him, because of the thought he puts into them. They’re always such loving surprises, and I think that’s what being a friend of Ryan is like–a constant parade of loving surprises.
I love you babe. You’re still my favourite.”
Annie: “RYAN HUGHES: quite possibly the best quality individual the internet has ever cast in my path (thanks, internet! sorry, other quality individuals out there!) RYAN HUGHES: name always in all-caps, like a marquee of Awesome scrolling through the dull landscape of life. RYAN HUGHES: mad dramaturgical prowess, rivaled only by the ability to satirize stupidity like a sexy god. RYAN HUGHES, who books gigs like a magical ninja. A magical acting ninja. You know, one those ninjas who act…. magically. RYAN HUGHES, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALL ME K.”
Anne: “Ryan is the perfect combination of everything I adore in a person, in that he’s a cynical curmudgeon who secretly has a heart of gold. I mean, I guess that was a secret until I wrote it just now. Looks like the cat’s out of the bag. Sorry, Ryan.
At one point not long after meeting him I remember saying something that I felt was horribly awkward and when I tried to apologize profusely, Ryan was like, “Relax, Thériault. We’re going to be friends and nothing you can do will fuck that up.” And that was maybe one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”
Marilla: “Ryan Hughes is a totally hot piece of ass. I objectify him continually. He just has that effect on me. Maybe it’s his geeky glasses, his razor-sharp wit or his exceptional writing skill. Or maybe it’s just his ass. I simply don’t know. But as a married woman I find him ridiculously distracting. Thanks, Ryan. Thanks a lot.”
Me: “I don’t want to brag, but the first person I got it on with in 2013 was Ryan Hughes.
Obviously I do want to brag, let’s be serious. Because in addition to being completely handsome, Ryan is also a fantastic person.
Here are only some of the totally nice things he has done for me:
- Always warned me if he thought any of the things he was acting in would be triggering, and given me unreserved permission to skip them.
- Listened to me talk about a small rotating list of anxieties for nearly 10 years without ever seeming impatient with me.
- Written last minute jokes for Bill Nighy, in order to save me from the lack of sense of humour rampant in the NGO-industrial-complex.
- Watched the entire restored version of the Judy Garland version of A Star Is Born with me, because I wanted his impression of one scene in context.
- Always let me know he was happy to hang out with me even if I was skittish and anxious and there was cat hair everywhere.
I love you, Ryan. Happy birthday!
p.s. This post is going to do amazing things for your SEO.”